if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize