I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize