hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
