just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
