I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
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Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
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And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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