And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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