walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
