My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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