Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
handjob tips. give me some.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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