Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
