you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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