Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize