She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
