Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
