i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
