You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
