'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
