We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
porn star boner night. come get it.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
