I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
