Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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