This dress was meant to end up on your floor
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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