Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
