Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
