If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize