she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
