how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
