Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
