turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
