just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
