Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
