i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
