you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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