just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
