Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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