Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
