Girls should come with a carfax report
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize