just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
