someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
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Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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