So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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