Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
