OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Please, let me fuck your mom
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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