You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
