I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I think people are normalizing furries
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
