Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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