you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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