There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
