I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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