im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.