Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard