Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  How do you jack off and text at the same time?

  (1-281): View more from Texas

  On my iPhone they have an app for that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): How do you jack off and text at the same time? (1-281): On my iPhone they have an app for that http://tfl.nu/2tk7
  Replies (84) Good night (31562) Bad night (1900)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem. http://tfl.nu/9i07
  Replies (30) Good night (5166) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate? http://tfl.nu/ayxt
  Replies (24) Good night (756) Bad night (2813)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added http://tfl.nu/jtyi
  Replies (13) Good night (5027) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life. http://tfl.nu/paqh
  Replies (71) Good night (26066) Bad night (1331)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea.... http://tfl.nu/8lgf
  Replies (7) Good night (2797) Bad night (1089)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this.. http://tfl.nu/inhx
  Replies (14) Good night (1414) Bad night (3776)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again. http://tfl.nu/uwyc
  Replies (7) Good night (1884) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them. http://tfl.nu/oqni
  Replies (6) Good night (1564) Bad night (2773)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather. http://tfl.nu/kdej
  Replies (10) Good night (2966) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/g344
  Replies (12) Good night (742) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.

  (1-785): View more from Kansas

  i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop. (1-785): i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man http://tfl.nu/s8dm
  Replies (2) Good night (1306) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that http://tfl.nu/h4ec
  Replies (4) Good night (1481) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man.. http://tfl.nu/8lw1
  Replies (1) Good night (162) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  Tequila.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): Know anything about my roof collapsing last night? (1-479): Tequila. http://tfl.nu/3wq7
  Replies (0) Good night (541) Bad night (180)

Randomize