Texts From Last Night

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  (315): View more from New York

  He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?

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  (315): He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic? http://tfl.nu/piwl
  Replies (28) Good night (6843) Bad night (845)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  how drunk are you?

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  What does that even mean anymore?

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  (612): how drunk are you? (952): What does that even mean anymore? http://tfl.nu/4vkm
  Replies (10) Good night (5262) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Really.

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  (918): I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you (580): Really. http://tfl.nu/kw5b
  Replies (101) Good night (10549) Bad night (3167)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant

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  (917): I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant http://tfl.nu/lnj1
  Replies (40) Good night (5090) Bad night (1723)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin

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  (919): He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin http://tfl.nu/8jd6
  Replies (17) Good night (3028) Bad night (1161)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.

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  (413): im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone. http://tfl.nu/9w3d
  Replies (8) Good night (3853) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running

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  (650): at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running http://tfl.nu/xnze
  Replies (5) Good night (882) Bad night (2385)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.

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  (402): I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious. http://tfl.nu/b9xl
  Replies (12) Good night (3883) Bad night (1327)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller

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  (907): We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller http://tfl.nu/mw3b
  Replies (6) Good night (1338) Bad night (2296)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.

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  (206): LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat. http://tfl.nu/zl1y
  Replies (6) Good night (2906) Bad night (1167)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.

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  (917): You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year. http://tfl.nu/e5jh
  Replies (4) Good night (1504) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.

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  (941): oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed. http://tfl.nu/cdno
  Replies (5) Good night (1409) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message

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  (216): Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message http://tfl.nu/1r6g
  Replies (5) Good night (562) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.

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  (386): Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost. http://tfl.nu/901r
  Replies (2) Good night (654) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.

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  (970): Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background. http://tfl.nu/hf4r
  Replies (1) Good night (320) Bad night (523)

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