Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
