Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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