i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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