i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
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I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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