I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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