My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize