the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Houston, we have a blender
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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