There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
